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 ♥ R FOR REBECCA A little bit of narcissism won't hurt, and vanity isn't a sin. Email: rebeccaa.-@hotmail.com  Tagboard
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Thursday, April 17, 2008
 People, can anyone feel for me? I just felt like running away. I don't understand why does things turn out to be this way? No words could describe my pain right now. I always thought you're the right one, but w-h-y?! You deeply hurts me with your words, saying you don't love me right from the start, everything was just a put up show becos you pity me, you just want to toy with my feelings 'cos i once did something wrong. So is this a revenge on me? My heart sank upon hearing all this. Tears flow down my cheeks & i could feel that my heart was again shattered into a million pieces. Sigh. This is not what i wanna see. You push me right aside telling me you want a clear breakup. Why & why? I just couldn't understand. This is not supposed to be the Joel i knew. How can you be so cruel towards me? I did nothing wrong & i don't deserve this kind of treatment at all! Despite your hurtful words & people telling me you ain't worth my tears at all, i still choose to trust in you. 'Cos i believe those oh-so-sweet smses you sent me, those letters you used to write to me, i still kept it well within. I still remember every single promises you made to me, you're the one who lead me out of my ugly past, you're the one who asked me to trust in you & give you a chance. You're the one who says you will bring me to a better future. You say time will passby very fast and once your tagging is over we can have more time with each other. You say you hope that i won't leave you when i told you back i hope you won't leave me as well. You say i'm someone special to you. You say you will love me with all your heart, with all your mind and with all your soul. You say i'm your longest and most loved girlfriend. So where has all this promises gone to?! Im still believing, im still waiting for you. 'Cos i just can't bring myself to accept the truth! Im indeed one silly girl. Yes, call me a stupid girl. I've already lost my pride, my integrity. There's a thousand reasons for me to give up, but i'm just so stubborn in the things i hoped for. 'Cos i knew that you're all worth it. 'Cos there was ain't no other man like this joel i knew. I thought that a true heart would touches your heart, but i'm wrong. You don't even want to take a look back at me. The girl whom you say you love the most, the girl whom you call dear dear & fatfat. You will no longer call me this anymore.. You don't even reminisce about our past. You say game over & you just walked off without me. Sigh! I wrote you a 3 page long letter and you throw it down the duskbin without even taking a look at it. How i wish i am blind, so i won't see all this. I am deaf, so i won't hear you saying you don't love me no more. What hurts the most is when i'm right beside you yet our hearts are so far apart, is being so close yet watching you walk away, is being so near yet you don't understand my love for you. Friends & strangers was not what i wanted us to me. But you insisted. Perhaps you're really one cold-blooded jerk. The facts which i refused to accept, might be so true. Anyway, there will really be karma. What comes around goes around. I strongly believe it this, just like what your mom has said. Take your sweet sweet time, i'll be here when you change your mind. Stupidity? Love is damn blind. Sigh! [/Edited] Despite sleeping for less than 3 hours yesterday night, i am still here for work. I know i can't let personal feelings affect my work performance(; And indeed i felt much better knowing sis was here to comfort me, aaron was here to make my day by his funny jokes and ling was beside me cursing & swearing at those libra, telling me that libra people can't be trusted. And of cos my dear girls. Thanks for being here always, They tolerate with my nonsense, worried about me. I know you girls wanna see me happy, i promise i'll learn how to stand on my feets again. But i just need time, and more time.. The sun doesn't seems to shine for me :( |
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永遠の愛
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